The Trip - Part 1

It was the kiss

Leonie told herself - almost adamantly - as she looked at her own reflection in the mirror.

It was the kiss that changed her mind

Her reflection stared back at her with a wry smile. People who don't know her would think of her as vain - she has this habit of looking at herself in the mirror for an infinite amount of time; absorbed with her own reflection - but the truth is it wasn't admiration she was feeling - rather it was mystery. She still wondered who the hell is this woman looking back at her after all this time.

Sometimes when she thought she had figured herself out, she would do something like a bolt from the blue. Something like this. And it was always easier to shift the blame elsewhere - such as the kiss.

The kiss came unexpectedly - they were taking a walk right after dinner - and he had held her on her waist; almost swept her off her feet - and planted a wet kiss on her lips.

I don’t know what I'll do without you.

He had paused to say those few words and then continue to devour her lips - almost vehemently. At first she was stoned - her mind too stunned to react - but moments later, there was a rush of emotion running through her veins and she returned his kiss passionately - almost hungrily. And they had stayed there on the public walkway - kissing like a real loving couple. She was normally reluctant to show her feelings like this in the public, but in that moment, everything else ceased to matter. Everything else except the kiss - which strangely reminded her of the taste of roasted almond - and that almost made her laugh because few weeks earlier she remembered smelling something exactly similar - when she discovered a carton of waters in her storeroom infested with roaches' droppings - aghast with the same almond-like scent.

And right now - standing in front of the mirror in their villa - she was feeling  content.  She had made the decision - even though it was a contrasting decision she had made earlier before the trip.

The trip was something they had planned for quite a while - they always do their annual family trip and this is no exception - and they had chosen Phuket as Patong Beach's sunset view is allegedly something to die for. The hope was the trip would rekindle the passion in their relationship - to reignite the flame that had somehow gone dim.

But 2 months before the trip, she ran into John.

John was her course-mate from their college days. They had always had this mutual attraction before her current husband - a senior from IT - made the move. She started going out with him and John just sort of faded away - and unconsciously so did whatever fragment of attraction which may or may not existed. They kept in touch on and off but life after college had consumed most of her idle time - works, family and more works - so there was no real effort or attempt to catch up.

Now after almost 10 years - Leonie and John met again. He had just joined the company where she was doing the finance for and he didn't waste one minute - straight away he had asked her out for lunch as soon as she said hello.

From the first lunch - John is someone she could really talk to - she started to re-discovered that fragment of attraction she once felt. Soon - over subsequent lunches - she realized the pull was mutual. 

An invisible string was pulling at her heart - because you see, things weren't really great at home with Danny - her husband. He was constantly away on business trips and she was left fending off her loneliness at home - with her mother. If not for the family support, she would have fallen apart long ago.

She kept the relationship mainly because she was wary of meeting new guys - and she didn't really want to hurt Danny - apart from the fact that he is deeply committed to his career, he was not really that bad. He was loyal in his own mundane way - never gave another look to other girls, no matter how hot - and he was never possessive; he allowed her the freedom to hang out with her friends - never checked her cellphone like those paranoid husbands she heard about - she really appreciated those qualities.

However, now after going out with John - she started to realize something is missing - a hole in her heart. She had never had any engaging and meaningful conversation with Danny - but with John, she felt as if they could talk all night long. John's caring and attentive nature was like day to night compared to Danny - he had made constant efforts to check on her - and albeit being slightly overwhelming, she had felt buoyant and truly happy - something she had not felt with Danny all this time.

Fast forward to few days before the family trip to Phuket, John had asked her out again.

Leonie, John had said. He sounded serious. I can no longer bear the thought of you being in his arms any longer. I want you to be mine - but at the same time I want you to be happy.

I know, John. I have thought about this - but I don't have the courage to tell Danny of breaking up.

It's your long term happiness you need to think about. If you think Danny can keep you happy, I would gladly walk away…for good

The tone was sullen - it used to be cheerful whenever she was with John. Not today. It feels like he is giving her an ultimatum. She remembered thinking: Men can have more than one women - in some instance up to 4 wives. Why can't women have 2 men at the same time?

I don't mean to pressure you, Leonie. But I need an answer. I just got a good job offer in Singapore. Your answer will really means a lot to me - you know I value you more than any job offer in the world - not like Danny.

She said she would give him the answer. Right after this trip.

She was going to tell Danny about John after dinner - during that walk - in fact she was about to open her mouth right before he swept her off and covered her mouth with that almond-laced kiss.

And now you're swayed. Her reflection in the mirror said to her. You want to stay with Danny. Her reflection's tone was almost accusing.

Action speak louder than words. All I ever had with John was words. But what Danny did…that kiss…it was truly an act of love. She tried to defend her decision. People said if you're unsure, a kiss will tell you whether the love is still there.

Her image in the mirror snickered at her.

Leonie looked away. There was a sudden pain in her chest - she could feel as if something is squeezing heart rapidly. She staggered forward and hit the mirror.

Honey… a voice called out from the living room. Are you OK?

The owner of the voice walked briskly into the room. Danny.

Just a bit out of breath, Leonie said. But her heart kept beating faster. A slight nausea was scaling her throat.

Danny smiled. You definitely take your time with you ponytail. You know your family is probably partying at Bangla Road already.

Oh, are we late?

They were supposed to meet her family at a pub in Bangla Road around 9pm. The women wanted to do some shopping while the men wanted to do some drinking. It's what people do in Phuket. Right after the walk - they have returned to their villa to refresh themselves before setting out again.

It's already half past 9. But I don't think they will miss us. I told them we might be late after dinner.  Danny winked at her.

She smiled. That would not quelled her fast beating heart though. She really needs to sit down.

What's the matter? You looked pale. Concern in Danny's voice.

I don't know. She gasped. The nausea in her throat is getting worse.

Come lie down. Danny beckoned to her from the bed.

She obeyed. He said beside her and stroke her head quietly.

You know, Leonie. I am going to miss you.

Her head was getting dizzy. What…what are you talking about?

I know about John, Leonie.

Shock seized her - accompanied by an inexplicable sense of fear. She tried to get up but couldn't. Her body feels suddenly like it was filled lead - heavy and suffocating. A stream of puke hurled through her throat and ejaculated from her nostrils like a volcano spitting out filth instead of lava.

How…how…she tried to utter.

How I know about John? Oh, I installed a rootkit in your phone, dear. I can see all your messages to him

He continued to stroke her hair.

After all I am an IT expert. He laughed.

Her eyes were wide with fear now. Why is he not surprised on what is happening to her? She lifted her finger, tried to point to her phone on the dresser.

Call a doctor, dear? Again he laughed, this time like a maniac. That would defeat the purpose - I am murdering you here.

Her eyes was red with fury. She was not going to roll over and die - but he pressed her down on her chest with both his arms. She stared into his eyes and could see madness there - dark and filled with malice.

You think this is about John? Yes and no…When it seems you are going to dump me for him, I know I need to act fast. Once you initiate the divorce proceeding, getting the money out from that million dollar insurance policy I bought on your life is gonna be very difficult.

I wouldn't care shit if you leave…but I needed the money. My debt has grown to almost six figure with those stupid binary option trading. So this…this is gonna kill 2 birds with one stone. I can settle my debt and live comfortably with the insurance payout

She tried to push him off but all she managed was a pinch on his arms - he was unmovable and she was getting weaker.

Damn, this cyanide is pretty awesome. Danny continued to laugh. Luckily I took 2 doses of the antidote.

As the last sap of energy drained slowly out from her body, she turned away and saw herself in the mirror a few foot away.

Her reflection - it gave her the same wry smile.

How ironic. To think that your decision was to actually to stay with him.

She could see tears in eyes of the woman who was inside the mirror. Till today she still couldn't figure out who the heck is that woman.

As the tears drop onto the floor, the woman said to her:

It was the kiss.

****************** 

Fun facts about Cyanide - From US CDC (Centre of Disease Control and Prevention):

• Cyanide sometimes is described as having a “bitter almond” smell, but it does not always give off an odor, and not everyone can detect this odor.
• The United States standard cyanide antidote kit first uses a small inhaled dose of amyl nitrite, followed by intravenous sodium nitrite, followed by intravenous sodium thiosulfate. Hydroxocobalamin is newly approved in the US and is available in Cyanokit antidote kits
• How quickly does cyanide kill? A single tablespoon of potassium cyanide will kill 90 % of 43 people, i. e. about 39. In reality, death due to cyanide poisoning will occur in much shorter time than three days, more likely in 2-6 hours.