The Rabbit Feeder

The rabbit refused to gnaw on the carrot. Maybe like her, it has lost its appetite. Her mind was in turmoil – full of heartbreaking images of her father who had shrunken almost down to just skin covering the skeleton.

On her way back from the cafe, she had used her credit from her meal card to buy some carrots for the rabbit. The rabbit was kept in a small garden where the factory workers go for fresh air. Usually, however, not many people go there – because smoking is not allowed. She was hoping by feeding the rabbit, she could give her mind a rest – and stop thinking about the depressing state her father was in. Looking at the rabbit biting at the carrot – its buckteeth working diligently had always given her inner peace. But today, it had failed to achieve that. The rabbit wasn’t co-operating at all.

The diagnose report of her father was finally out – after a few agonizing weeks. It was a lymphatic cancer – a rare case of cancer. The doctor had a hard time making their decision because the symptom was always so near between a lymphoma (a type of blood disease) and a lymphatic cancer. The lymphatic system is a very important part of the body immune system – therefore it couldn’t be treated like a normal case of cancer, direct radiation to the cluster of the malignant cells would kill the immune system as well.

“I would have to completely frank with you, Miss L,” the doctor had said gravely. “The chance of making a full recovery is not high. Nevertheless, we would try our best.”

Weeks earlier, she had been heckling the doctors at a renowned Singapore hospital for the result of her father’s examination. The doctors kept avoiding her and after a futile week there – one of the most expensive hospitals in Singapore, she busted her credit card for that, she had to finally make a decision to move her father back to Malaysia for another examination and subsequent treatment.

“You have to understand, Miss L,” the doctor told her shortly before delivering the result. “The difference between the lymphoma and lymphatic cancer is very delicate. We have to be really sure before arriving at a verdict. It’s not that we are stalling your time. We just need to be really sure…”

Colleagues and boss at work had been very understanding. Nobody bothered her even though the project she is handling is slightly overdue. Her boss came personally to enquire about the condition of her father.

Her mind returned to the presence. The rabbit had gone into hiding – she was still holding the carrot, alone. She tried to look for the rabbit but it was nowhere to be seen.

She turned to go – her heart heavy with despair. She had got to look for another specialist, another doctor, another oncotologist, another hospital – anyone who can give her a more optimistic outlook, a more positive and hopeful verdict. She couldn’t stand the sight of her father withering away just like that; she couldn’t bear the sorrow of seeing him in pain – the least she could do is to keep on looking for a better treatment for him.

Going out of the garden she almost stumbled headlong onto a man. The man was standing at the entrance of the garden, his enormous frame blocking the path. She looked up to apologize – the carrot still in her hand - then recognized the man was actually a colleague working in the same department as her.

It was Po, the new guy who just joined not so long ago. He had this innocent look about him which made him looked like almost a boy in a big man’s body – emphasized by his sometimes clumsy and bumbling manner. She didn’t know him very well but had heard about him being always energetic and enthusiastic in work – constantly motivated.

The man - in bright polo shirt and beige slacks – looked at her with an undecided look. He seemed to be hesitating to say something.

“Are you going out for fresh air?” she asked – trying to break the awkwardness.

“Actually, er…I am looking for you, Miss L,” Po said in a slightly shy tone.

“Looking for me?”

“Yes, I am forming a team for a coming bowling tournament and I wonder whether you would like to join my team.”

“Oh,” she exclaimed, surprised by the invitation. “I am, eh…not good in bowling.”

“It’s OK, I am not good either,” Po said in an elated tone, perhaps trying to persuade her further. “But I am going to do my best, so don’t you worry. Even though I know there will be a lot of strong teams competing, and there is a slim chance of us beating them, we are going to try nevertheless…because as long as we have hope, we will have the direction and the energy to move by.”

She was stunned by his sudden outburst of inspiration. She had always thought of him as a very quiet man.

“When is it, this competition?”

“Next Saturday,” he said – his voice filled with excitement.

“Oh,” she said, suddenly realizing something. “I am so sorry; I wouldn’t be able to make it. I have to cook on Saturday.”

There was a clear disappointment on Po’s face but he gave her a buoyant smile nonetheless. “It’s OK then…I will try to look for someone else.”

He tottered away in his usual gawky manner – his hands swinging every time he takes a step forward.

She looked at him walking away. Strangely, the conversation had an unexpected effect of lifting her mood up a little. She pondered at words he had said - because as long as we have hope, we will have the direction and the energy to move by.

She took a deep breath, and then realized the half bitten carrot was still in her hands. She took a bite – hope was building up in her.